Boy, have I been getting a lot of Russian comment spam lately.

Well, not really. But that’s the only way I could thing of to segway into this blogpost that really has nothing to do with making money online at all. Just indulge me, it’s not often I stray off-topic. Think of it as a Russian marketing lesson, since I’m sure many of you are banking hardcore targeting those ruskies with teeth whitening/magic jack, etc. (/sarcasm)

Earlier today I was surfing around on a Russian proxy (shady off-white business, of course). At some point I forgot I was still using the proxy, until I went to Google to search an image and saw all the Cyrillic-y characters. I then decided to go to Google images and have a look around. I used Google Translate to translate terms from English to Russian and was quite amused by some of the results, especially when compared to the results on Google.com (US). I am here to share some of the best ones with you. I must warn you, however, that a couple of these border on gross/offensive. But nevermind that, let’s get started! I’ll try to go from sorta funny/interesting to hilarious/wtf. Please note that at the time of this writing, these were the #1 image result for the query on the respective Google Images search engine (with safe search turned OFF).

Query: Automobile

Google US


Google RU




Query: Candy

Google US


Google RU




Query: Alcohol

Google US


Google RU




Query: Murder

Google US


Google RU




Query: Old People

Google US


Google RU




Query: Woman

Google US


Google RU




Query: Employment

Google US


Google RU




Query: Prison

Google US


Google RU




Query: Russian Men

Google US


Google RU




Query: American Women

Google US


Google RU




Query: Homosexuals

Google US


Google RU




Query: Dinner

Google US


Google RU




Query: American Family

Google US


Google RU




Query: Police

Google US (note: they are Georgian riot police)


Google RU





I wish I had time for more. Perhaps I’ll do another one of these one day as a comparison between different countries. Or maybe YOU should.

So last night I was perusing Facebook and of course the ads displayed to the right to see what was being advertised to me…

The first ad was for an affiliate network…I thought that was pretty interesting since I don’t mention affiliate marketing at all on my profile.












The second one was for guitar strings…possibly my favorite brand…also quite interesting since I’ve been playing guitar for like 17 years yet do not mention this fact in my “activities” or anywhere else.

At this point I decided Facebook must know me perhaps even better than I know myself…and then I saw the third one…

Well, finally some good news from the Ebay Partner Network. I don’t want to even talk about the upcoming shift to “Quality Click Pricing” because it’s just going to upset me. Perhaps I’ll have a future post all about optimizing your phpBay sites for the new system, but first I’m going to have to figure that out for myself!

In any event, EPN recently introduced four new programs: Ireland, Austria, Switzerland, and Germany.

Why is Germany in bold!? Well, because Germany is Ebay’s second largest market after of course the United States. This means that all sorts of untapped niches and microniches can potentially be exploited over in good old Deutschland.

Pic (sorta) related:

It also opens up some domaining opportunities if you’re thinking about registering .de domains. Although there is definitely competition in the .de domaining game, it’s nowhere near that of the .com industry. However, keep in mind that .de is the second most popular TLD in the world with an estimated six million .de domains already registered.

If you’re interested in searching for a good .de domain in any particular niche, here is what I recommend you do:

1. Determine the main keyword related to your niche
2. Use Google Language Tools to translate that word into German
3. Use Google Adwords Keyword Tool to check out how many searches that keyword and related keywords are pulling in [use exact match]
4. Snag a .de domain

Unfortunately, my most favorite registrar, Namecheap, does not offer .de registration at this time. Here are some alternatives (prices/currency conversions obviously reflect the time of this writing, don’t expect me to update this shit all the time!):

1. GoDaddy* – $17.99/yr (PayPal accepted)
2. iWantMyName.com* – $29.00/yr
3. EuroDNS* - apprx. $26.23/year (€16/yr plus €2 setup fee)
4. iDotz**- $19.95/yr
5. DomainDiscount24.com – $10.39 (€7.14)/yr
6. Joker.com – $9.16/yr
7. Europe Registry – $13.11 (€9)/yr

But I Heard You Have to Live in Germany to Register a .DE domain!?

Not the case, not the case. That myth is derived from the fact that the administrative contact on each .de domain registered must be located in Germany. Some registrars offer to act as the administrative contact on your behalf, thus circumventing this little bump in the road. However, some registrars will charge an additional fee for this (and some may not offer this service at all).

The registrars with the * listed above are the ones that include an administrative contact in Germany with your registration.

**Idotz.net will provide a German administrative contact for an additional fee.

The others either don’t offer this service or charge an additional fee (you’ll have to do your own research you bastard). Or you could just use your long lost cousin that lives in Germany as your administrative contact.

Only one I’ve used myself is GoDaddy (I know, I know). They might not be my favorite registrar but when it comes to international domains, I’d rather deal with their spammy site/terrible support and hopefully not have any further problems. Coincidentally, they’re also the only registrar listed above that I have an active affiliate relationship with. Weird.

EDIT: I forgot to mention that if you plan on building and optimizing sites for German traffic, it’s imperative that you have the site(s) HOSTED over there. Having your international sites hosted on IPs in the countries they are targeting helps a ton for ranking on search engines specific to that country. As far as which host to use, do your dang homework. As of now I use a UK host called Nativespace for all my European e-pillaging. That’s pretty close to Germany, right!?

You may already know that I love me some Wickedfire. I just thought I’d post here in case you haven’t stopped by that Gay Webmaster Forum lately, because there is a pretty hilarious thread dedicated to Warrior Forum “guru” Kim Standerline that you don’t want to miss. Will this result in an epic forum war? I sure hope so.

It appears you have done a 180 and improved your advertising platform by a billion percent. Congratulations. I hear some people are getting TWICE as many impressions these days, too!

…Nice!

Due to the huge volume of spam comments this blog has been receiving lately (all moderated, of course), I think this site is only further legitimized as an official super affiliate marketing resource. Thank you, thank you. Couldn not have done it without you.

Hopefully the next post will be a useful one. But don’t hold your breath.

You may be asking, “Hey, kingofsp, this is a pretty sweet layout, and it is so functional! Are you some sort of php prodigy, or what?”

Well, believe it or not, this is just a standard WP theme that I tweaked a little bit. And when I say tweaked, I mean fucked up really bad. Then, good fortune smiled upon me, and Flewid was nice enough to save the day and fix the mess that I made.

Well, now I’ve got my theme in order, and I’ve got my affiliate links in the sidebar…I guess all that’s left is to start refreshing my referral commission stats. Oh, wait…I should probably photoshop some checks. Damn..this shit is exhausting.

By some miraculous, inexplicable twist of fate, you’ve arrived at the greatest blog on Earth, OffWhiteHat.com. As if that weren’t odd enough, you found the very first post!

Go buy a lottery ticket!